Most people who experience depression do not love themselves and do not feel loved by others. At the same time some people so focus on themselves that they destroy their attractiveness. As a result, they often sit passively, waiting to get someone who will love them. But love is probably not working that way. To get and sustain love, you must go out to expose and learn a variety of different skills.
There is a mythology in our culture that love is a coincidence. It's part of our cultural vulnerability, such as fast-food, constantly irritating pictures and instant satisfaction. So often we think this is love, while in reality this is is only a 'infatuation' or an erotic madness.
The result could be that when you stand in front of a real love, you feel confused and frustrated because there were so many that did not fit the cultural "ideal". Some of us become demanding and choosy , and we ask others to do what we believe in the ideals of romance without realizing that our ideal is probably unrealistic.
Therefore it is not only possible but necessary to change one's perspective to see the love in his life.
Some simple suggestions include:
* Recognize the difference between sex and love. Love often exists in a state of intense erotic madness. It is beautiful but rarely lasts. Love is often the first stage of mad attraction where all the hormones go up and you feel the life is so beautiful. This state usually lasts for, on the average, six months. This may lead to love. Most love stories emanate from love, but many stories of crazy love do not develop a deep love.
* Realize that love is a learned skill and not something caused by hormones. The Erich Fromm calls it "an act of will. It is important to learn the skills to love because it will feel to be linked with other person, that you love. This reduces the chances of experiencing failures and depression.
* Learn proper communication skills. It allows you to develop confidence and strengthen your connection with your loved one. The more you communicate the better understanding you will develop..
* There are always some basic differences between two people regardless of how close they feel. If the relationship goes well, these differences go to the background. Therefore, the issue is to strengthen one of these differences and negotiate so as not to become a distraction for the other. This is done to fully grasp the roots of others. When these differences are known you will have to negotiate and settle upon them to find common ground for better functionality.
* Be willing to help. Depression keeps people so focused on the self. The more you concentrate on the other, the more you learn to respond to their needs and better contribute to your relationship.
* Expand the capacity to adapt easily to a common reality. The reality of the beloved needs you to be informed as yours. What do I need? People with depression feel that the only reality is their pessimistic view.
* Questioning yourself with the internal messages of personal failure. Sensitivity to rejection is a primary symptom of depression. As a result of low self-esteem, relationship is interpreted as a personal failure.
This is how love can remove your depression and promote inner peace within yourself
